Do You Hear What I Hear?

Are you listening or talking most of the time? Most people overvalue talking and undervalue listening, even those in people related jobs, such as sales. But the truth is that effective communication is not persuasion. It’s listening! Think about it: Nobody ever listened to himself or herself out of a sale.

President Abraham Lincoln once said, “ When I’m getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say—and two thirds thinking about him and what he is going to say." Good ratio I would say. Listen twice as much as you speak.

Stereotyping others can be a huge barrier to listening. Remember, perception is in most cases not reality. If I tell myself that the other person does not relate to me, I will “tune them out” and probably miss an opportunity to grow personally and in some cases financially. If someone takes their time to talk to you, there is usually a reason, so hear them out, then decide. “Tune them in” - so to speak! I have always learned from people I do not agree with. You will understand their opposition better, validate your position or maybe you will reach a compromise of understanding. It will be life learning for both of you.

Lastly, don’t be preoccupied with Self. You are not as important as you think you are. Other people’s perceptions of us may be far from what we consider our Self to be. So, acknowledge what you don’t know, be open to learn and assertively defend what you truly believe in. Oh yes, and remember, when someone takes their time to call, send an e-mail or write a letter, respond back in a timely manner [same day or within 24 hours]. When you don’t, it sends the message that you don’t really care and you are definitely do not want to “listen” to them. If you find yourself guilty of this infraction, make a concerted effort to respond to each form of communication you receive. In so doing, you will gain greater respect and credibility!